Life is no fun and games when you are in love, especially when there are two people you are thinking of. This forbidden love seemed doomed before it started, what was once just half friendship, ended up becoming whole hearted love. Now I try to make sense of this unique situation, through all that we been, I just can’t accept that parting can be our destination.
Through all my troubled times you give me strength, a reason to hope, taught me to love myself… making me a changed person… a woman…
Time and again, I want to move out, knowing that we probably don’t have a future. Being the other woman makes me feel insecure. At times I want to be selfish, and want more of what we have, but hold back, still believing that we may have something to look forward to… and to tell you the truth, every time I hear your voice, I just can’t think of living without you.
“Sometimes this loneliness kills me, I don’t want to keep waiting all my life…”
That’s real to me, you give me an option and do not press the issue, what is a woman to do when she doesn’t want to leave but does not want to dismiss you? “If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right…” “And if I have to sleep without you, I don’t want to sleep another lonely night…” This is the feeling of pain from being wrong and doing wrong is not doing me any good. I feel miserable, incomplete and mad at myself and no one else to blame. Making me think that maybe I should do the honorable thing, leave you and just be myself. But I love you so much, I have given you my all… and I don’t want to be alone.
“And if loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right for the rest of my life… and if loving you is wrong, I want to be wrong for the rest of my life… and if loving you is going to bring me pain and loneliness, then let me suffer for the happiness it brings… I will wait for our future, even if means forever, even if that future may never come, now or ever… So if loving you is wrong, I don’t need to follow the rules of righteousness, I’d rather be wrong with my love and happiness.”